Lately every day I have found myself saying the following:
Last year at this time I was….
and so on and so on.
If I really think about it I guess I have always struggled living in the here and now. Instead, my thoughts drift to the past or hope for the future.
There is nothing wrong with remembering the past and planning for the future, however there is something we cannot miss about the here and now.
I am entering this new year with almost a sense of grief leaving behind everything this past year held for me.
This was the year I was able to live in a country I call home. This was the year I received a front row seat to the amazing works God was doing in the lives of people God entrusted to me to minister His love, healing, and grace to. This was the year I found myself really understanding and living out true obedience to our Lord and Savior. This was the year I found myself fully relying on God in a way I never have before, ultimately bringing me much closer to Him. This was the year I found myself so close to God’s broken heart. This was the year I saw God provide for me in ways that I could never imagine possible. This was the year I learned what a step of faith looks like, personally. This was the year I understood what standing firm in God’s truth really means. This was the year I met the man I have been waiting for…for a really long time! This was the year I cried more tears than usual but also laughed more joyfully than usual. This was the year God brought me to a job where I get to learn the value of life and use the talents and gifts He has given me for His glory.
There is an almost overwhelming sadness knowing that this year is going to be completely different from last year. Part of me wants to go back. Yet another part of me wants to embrace the here and now.
That is the part of me I am really embracing as I start this new year. Maybe this new season of my life will be one where the BIG things of last year will not exist. I have decided I am completely content with that. In fact, I am excited for that because if there is one thing I have learned these past couple of months, it is that we cannot live for these BIG moments. We must live for all of the little moments in between. Any BIG thing is not the end, it is truly only the beginning.
So as I reflect on the BIG moments of 2016 I look forward with excitement for the true ending with God in Heaven one day.
I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:14