Meeting in a Moment

Tonight, my eyes saw one of the prettiest sunsets.  The sun was only visible through its reflections on the clouds.  These reflections brought so much beauty for our eyes to see.

How special it was that God made the sky breathtakingly beautiful in that moment just for us to enjoy.

This beauty faded quickly.  In an instant the sun set and all of the unique ways it was shining through the clouds was over.

How easy it would have been to miss that beautiful moment from God tonight.

Coming home from about nine months out of the country has landed me in a difficult time of transition in my life.  It is a time I know more than ever that I need to fully rely on God.

Maybe this is why this moment with God tonight reminded my heart of the importance of stopping in the moment to really see and enjoy what is in front of us-not our problems, fears, struggles, or doubts…but rather God Himself.

To be still in His presence knowing that He is God.

To be quiet long enough to hear His voice for comfort, reassurance, direction, acceptance.

To be open to these moments with God as opposed to missing out.

Since being home it would have been easy for me to miss out on every moment God wanted to meet with me.  I found myself in a place of doubt, fear, anxiety, worry, sadness, and confusion. The very things clouding my vision from seeing God in the midst of it all.

The beauty I have seen tonight reminded me that God wanted to meet with me right where I was, in that dreaded place.

I am so thankful that God is shining a light on a new path with Him.  I am stepping out of all of the things that want to hold me back from seeing and enjoying God’s beauty in my life.  In these moments is when everything else fades away and all we can do is behold the beauty of our God in every season of our lives.

I desire for my eyes and heart to be open and ready to meet with God in those special moments He creates just for us to enjoy with Him.

Thank you Jesus for the moments you make throughout our days for us to behold your beauty.  Help us Father to never miss out on the best moments of our days-with You. 

 

 

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King of My Heart

Let the King of my heart

be the mountain where I run

The Fountain I drink from

Oh He is my Song

Let the King of my heart

be the shadow where I hide

the randsom for my life

Oh He is my Song

These lyrics are from a song I have simply come to love.  We sang this song at a worship night and God used it to speak straight to my heart.

Earlier that day I was wrestling with my thoughts yet again.  It is just so hard to be “home” after making my home in foreign places during the last nine months of my life.

My time away encouraged and highlighted these passions I have deep in my heart.  The most obvious of passions being India and women rescued from sexual exploitation.

Now that I am home I find these passions fading away, or so I thought.  And is exactly what I thought just before I walked into worship.  Fear and doubt knocked on the door of my heart as I wondered how these passions could possibly be fading away from my heart when I was certain God was the one who had put them there.

Then we sang the song above and in an instant God asked me the following:

What is the king of your heart, Diane?

When I thought about my answer everything became clear to me.

These passions of mine aren’t fading away they are just falling into place.  It is not the easiest process to watch passions of yours fall away from places of your heart they are just not meant to be.  But it is oh so necessary because of the following:

I am not to love what God has called me to more than I love Him.

I am not to focus my attention on the things I do for the Lord more than I focus on Him.

I am not to do for God more than simply being His.

I am not to get caught up in the needs all around me more than I get caught up in sitting still in God’s presence.

With passions as the “king of our heart” we cannot rely on them, depend on them, trust in them for anything.  Only when God is the King of our heart can we rely fully, depend completely, and trust wholeheartedly in Him to keep these passions and fulfill them in His time in His way.

When these passions of mine fall I trust they are landing in the places they need to be.  The places where God wants them to be for Him to grow them deeper and use them best for the purposes He has planned since before I was even born.

And as the song continues to play, my heart fills with thankfulness to God for protecting the throne of my heart to be only His.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When You Don’t Know

In April, I made my way back to Amsterdam to attend a six week seminar surrounding the topic of human trafficking and the Christian response.  The seminar was quite intense, hearing from just over 20 speakers from all aspects of this injustice: prevention, awareness, aftercare, law-enforcement…just to name a few.

I remember one of the first days being bombarded with the following question:

After you see what you see and hear what you hear are you going to be able to say at the end of the day that God is good?

For the remainder of my time at the seminar and during my time in Spain working in an aftercare home for women, the question was on the back of my mind.  Now that I am home, this question remains.

My answer has always been and still is, of course, God is good no matter what.  The problem with this answer is that it was not the answer of my heart until recently.

Being home has its own set of challenges.  I have had so much change in the last nine months.  Being home brings more change and a lot of unknowns.

I do not know what this next season of my life will look like.

I could think of all of the unknowns.  Trying to come up in my mind with different plans and ideas and thoughts of what I could possibly do or where God possibly wants me to go and do.  And this is what I have been doing a lot of.

The only thing this does is cause an unnecessary and ridiculous amount of anxiety.

I realized that I have a choice to make during this transitional time of my life.  I can continue to focus on the unknowns driving myself into an overwhelming pit of anxiety, doubt, and fear OR I can choose to give God the unknowns and focus my thoughts on all of the things I do know.

Because when it comes down to it, God knows each of my unknowns.  I do not need to think about them because He already has.  I need to think about all of the things I do know.

In this process of making my little list of things I know that I am going to focus on from now on, I realized one of the things I know that I know that I know is:

God is GOOD.

This isn’t just an empty phrase.  This is truth that has been rooted deeply into my heart especially during the last nine months of my life.

As I followed God into dark places, His goodness remained.

As I saw heartache and despair, God’s goodness was found.

As I listened to stories that should have never been a reality for God’s precious children, I learned of the goodness God alone is using to rewrite these stories.

I always like to remind myself of the following, if God has done something before it is a good indicator that He is going to do it again.  It will look differently but it will be His best.

Reflecting back on all of the goodness of God that I have seen and experienced reminds this weary heart of mine that His goodness will continue.

So as I sit here with the threat of unknowns ready to devour my peace, I hold onto the goodness of God.  I hold onto my little list of the good things about God that I am going to focus on.

As I continue on this path God has me on to see the brokenhearted and journey with them to Him, this question will continue to challenge me.  Knowing God’s goodness will not always come naturally, but I am thankful for those moments I have had witnessing His goodness and as I focus on those I wait with eager anticipation for all of the future goodness of the Lord.

Thank you Jesus for eyes that see Your goodness no matter what.

I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.  Psalm 27:13