As I write tonight I catch a glimpse out of the corner of my eye of a box on my floor under my window. The box is covered in my own handwriting and artwork, and by artwork, I mean sweet little flowers and hearts because let me be honest….my artwork cannot consist of anything else.
The outside of the box is pretty special but what is inside is just part of a story that needs to be shared.
Let me back up a little bit. For most of my life I have lived a long car ride away from my gram. The distance between us did not stop us from talking. We talked all the time through the letters we penned back and forth and back and forth and back and forth again and again.
The letters I received from my gram were not just letters to me. They were the lifeline I needed during the darkest time of my life. Her letters were something for me to hold onto. They were exactly what my heart needed.
I still remember the letter I wrote to my gram where I shared my distance from God. My gram knew nothing of the details of what was going on in my life, all she knew is that I had found myself far from God and that was enough for her to completely devote herself to me in the form of prayer and letters.
When she wrote back to me after receiving this particular letter not only did she send stamps (to ensure I would send letters back to her) but she sent me words that have stuck with me, still to this day…”God never leaves us and He waits patiently for us to come back to Him.” I will never forget writing the most precious of letters my gram has probably ever seen. In this particular letter is when I shared with her that she was right and that God waited for me and I finally came back to Him.
In that box on my floor under my window is where those letters I penned to my gram are found. It still feels sad to see her box here with me. I want it to be where it belongs: with her.
I remember clearly the day my gram told me she has kept every letter I ever sent her. She told me how she would hug my letters and even though it wasn’t as good as hugging me it would do until we could really hug again. When I heard this I rushed to make a box for her to keep my letters in.
Before coming home from my gram’s funeral I started to read through the letters my gram has sent me. I too, have kept every single one. One letter I read during this time had the following:
Psalm 116:15 Death is not the end but a new beginning. Remember this when my time comes.
My gram as always, knew just what my heart needed. My sister looked up that Bible verse in our Bible and under the verse our Bible said the following:
God stays close to us even in death. When someone we love is nearing death we may become angry and feel abandoned. But believers (saints) are precious to God, and he carefully chooses the time when they will be called into his presence. Let this truth provide comfort when you’ve lost a loved one. God sees, and each life is valuable to him.
This provided so much comfort to our hearts as my gram left this earth and went to her new beginning with Jesus.
The day my gram met Jesus just so happened to be the day I was born. As hard as it is to see my birthday as my gram’s final day in this world, in a strange way it feels sort of special. God carefully chose the day for my gram to meet Him and knowing that day was my birthday helps me to feel so close to my gram even in her death.
As I still see this box out of the corner of my eye, I think about how I now have the complete story of the power of love and care and prayer through both sets of letters.
All I can do is hug my gram’s letters and even though it’s not as good as hugging her it will do until we can really hug again in Heaven one day.
Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints.
Please know that I am so new to loss. I do not have a lot of experience with losing someone so close to me. The loss of my grandmother has been the hardest my heart has ever known. If you are dealing with the loss of someone you love, please know my heart goes out to you. It is my prayer that God fills the places where you feel the loss the most with His perfect peace and comfort. xoxo Diane